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Friday, February 12, 2010
what constitutes a happy ending? in fairy tales, two people madly in love,will be married and lived happily ever after. prince will always get a pretty girl and thats the end of the story. however, every story has a climax and every climax will contain hardships that the prince will have to go through to "earn" the right to be together with the girl of his dreams. fighting dragons and evil step mum, those villians that we hate so much might just be the catalyst to forge such strong love.
in real life, perhaps fairytales do happen but these are rare cases. when i like u, that does not mean that u will like me back. first at first sight, as much as i hope to have such an encounter, will not occur. pride, my safety net, or should i say biggest setback, has disallowed me to in layman terms "go all out". these can be thought of as excuses, trying to make myself less of a loser. love as a feeling, is fragile and easily being tempered upon by people, circumstance and time. however, without the initial push of this feeling, one cannot progress on to bring the defination of love into a whole new level - love as a choice.
i consider myself a neophyte in chasing girls, somehow i'm just not good enough. not enough courage, not fast enough. perhaps i have always been living with a golden spoon, or maybe, i'm simply not ready. God told me that i can do what i want and He also warned me the consequences. coincidentally, today during class, prof spoke to us about following instructions. things will be much quicker if we follow rules and in my case, obedience to God. the issue not is not so much as to how come christians need to find a non christian gf. God did stop me but in this case, He gave me a choice and when i read on about the consequences, i just wasn't sure i was able to take it. am i truly in love with yy or is it just because i know that she liked me, even if its just a passing thought. to me it matters because i felt connected with her, i felt happy when i'm with her, i felt loved when i was able to hold her and whisper stuff to her. i felt blessed when i was able to hold her hands and affirmed her before she went on stage. all these circumstances, though might be purely one sided mattered. however, things didn't turned out the way i wanted. i felt neglected, i confronted her, things turned out quite ugly. yes, we apologised and remained as friends. the long break watered down the sparks that i used to feel. i needed a girl that is willing to make time for me and this is something that she couldn't do for me.
somehow i am convinced that this is a whole new beginning but what now? daryl's going to introduce me some girls when he comes back. i am quite skeptical bout it tho. the kinda girls that he know are probably those from rj and to them, i might just be another piece of fresh meat to chew on.
so how am i feeling now? convinced the whole world that i am okay. guess weiqi is smart enough to sms me to check again. however, this failure is something that i refuse to accept for now. it hurts and i dun feel like talking about it. think i'll meet qingnan for a drink and i'll be fine. it's good to have pals that know u inside out so i dun have to hide anything from them. can't believe i lied to daryl. let that be the first and last. pride be gone...
+++10:44 PM+++
Jesus is Love
what constitutes a happy ending? in fairy tales, two people madly in love,will be married and lived happily ever after. prince will always get a pretty girl and thats the end of the story. however, every story has a climax and every climax will contain hardships that the prince will have to go through to "earn" the right to be together with the girl of his dreams. fighting dragons and evil step mum, those villians that we hate so much might just be the catalyst to forge such strong love.
in real life, perhaps fairytales do happen but these are rare cases. when i like u, that does not mean that u will like me back. first at first sight, as much as i hope to have such an encounter, will not occur. pride, my safety net, or should i say biggest setback, has disallowed me to in layman terms "go all out". these can be thought of as excuses, trying to make myself less of a loser. love as a feeling, is fragile and easily being tempered upon by people, circumstance and time. however, without the initial push of this feeling, one cannot progress on to bring the defination of love into a whole new level - love as a choice.
i consider myself a neophyte in chasing girls, somehow i'm just not good enough. not enough courage, not fast enough. perhaps i have always been living with a golden spoon, or maybe, i'm simply not ready. God told me that i can do what i want and He also warned me the consequences. coincidentally, today during class, prof spoke to us about following instructions. things will be much quicker if we follow rules and in my case, obedience to God. the issue not is not so much as to how come christians need to find a non christian gf. God did stop me but in this case, He gave me a choice and when i read on about the consequences, i just wasn't sure i was able to take it. am i truly in love with yy or is it just because i know that she liked me, even if its just a passing thought. to me it matters because i felt connected with her, i felt happy when i'm with her, i felt loved when i was able to hold her and whisper stuff to her. i felt blessed when i was able to hold her hands and affirmed her before she went on stage. all these circumstances, though might be purely one sided mattered. however, things didn't turned out the way i wanted. i felt neglected, i confronted her, things turned out quite ugly. yes, we apologised and remained as friends. the long break watered down the sparks that i used to feel. i needed a girl that is willing to make time for me and this is something that she couldn't do for me.
somehow i am convinced that this is a whole new beginning but what now? daryl's going to introduce me some girls when he comes back. i am quite skeptical bout it tho. the kinda girls that he know are probably those from rj and to them, i might just be another piece of fresh meat to chew on.
so how am i feeling now? convinced the whole world that i am okay. guess weiqi is smart enough to sms me to check again. however, this failure is something that i refuse to accept for now. it hurts and i dun feel like talking about it. think i'll meet qingnan for a drink and i'll be fine. it's good to have pals that know u inside out so i dun have to hide anything from them. can't believe i lied to daryl. let that be the first and last. pride be gone...
Jesus is Love