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Kelvin
1st September
Affliation: Bartley Christian Church/ NOVO/ muffins
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Thursday, March 31, 2005
yesterday's dream was a continuation of one of my dreams that i had recently. i was at a chalet with some guys and one girl. apparently, the only people that i can remember is chris chia. wad happened was that there was this fat guy (either indian or malay) who barged in to our chalet without our permission. i was quite irritated by that guy but was too busy talking to that girl (think that was my girlfriend or something... heh). anyway, chris went forward to ask him to leave but somehow he got into a long conversation with tt guy. what happened next was that the fat guy asked him to the kitchen to have some private conversation. the fat guy is actually gay and asked chris to be his boyfriend. obviously chris refused and the fat guy killed him. that was dream part one.
yesterday's dream was about chris' funeral. there were alot of people attending that service. chris had like 4 pictures of him in front of the coffin instead of one. three of the photos were actually the amplified version of the ones on display at his house, near the piano. the other one was the hidden one in the basement. mark and edwin sat at the back separately. uncle albert (keith's dad) was sitting on the first row, reserving 4 seats. pastor william looked rather distressed and sat on the 2nd seat on the first row as well. as i looked around, i heard alot of strangers gossiping about chris. i was subconscious at that time when the gossiping took place. when i got up, i was asked to pray. was rather freaked out by that dream but nevertheless, i prayed. the dream still carried on though. chris' family wasn't there. i continued to look around until my alarm clock rang.
my dream wasn't exactly a dream. it might be some imagination of mine because i was partially awake but the events could carry on. the fact that its a continuation really freaked me off, and the voice that told me to pray?!!??!!
i'm going HK this coming Monday. i got a bad feeling bout this. yesterday when i was praying about it, i saw myself fighting some street robbers. freaky. pls pray for me pple. thanks
+++5:20 AM+++
Jesus is Love
Sunday, March 27, 2005
just finished watching a korean show ' my brother' at chrystal's place. it is so depressing. as i was walking back home, i thought of the way i treated my brother and somehow i think i've neglected him quite abit. but then again, he's hardly home. it was full moon tonight. as i was walking down the quiet road, a lunatic came towards me, or rather walked towards my direction. he shouted at every vehicle that went pass him. i freaked out at first cuz i was too engrossed admiring the moon (romantic eh?). stupid guy, spoiled my walk home.
i always like walking back home alone, in the dark. it gets me thinking and i could exercise at the same time. breathing in fresh air and slacking. haha. wad joy! anyhow, it was great today, spending time with people i love. i like one to one conversations, i like hugs, i like attention and i like crapping. whee. im gone. nitez out!!
+++2:51 PM+++
Jesus is Love
Saturday, March 26, 2005
recently i've been observing, why certain girls look more attractive than the rest. it all goes down to one thing, apart from their physical appearance. a girl will appear more appealing when they know how to behave. i am not trying to say that girls should be quiet or cover their mouth when they laugh. that will be abit too unnatural and boring. but rather, one should learn how to be pure and be themselves rather than mimicking other people whom u look up to. guys like things that are unique, they will get curious over things that are new to them (generally, same thing applies to how guys look at girls). by being somebody that u are not, u are simply making urself a substitute. it might sounds harsh but this is reality. getting too violent or physically at some minor teasing is a big NO NO! it absolutely turns people off. u might think at its fun or cute or wadeva but HEY, i am telling u again that its not.
in some other cases, guys or rather me, i like girls that respond positively. for instance, when i tease Adele or Chrystal, they don't pinch me or kick me or wadeva. they just smile or try to get back at me. that is what i call attractive. all that teasing don't involve thorns but purely fun. heh.
another attractive factor in a girl is the purity in them. Pure physically and mentally. girls that don't pollute themselves with information or topics such as sex. i am not saying that they should be totally ignorant bout it, but keep it low. we are christians and by speaking bout such stuff opening ain't very glorifying to God. yes, i agree that the world is getting more liberal but we shouldn't be influenced by the world. anyway, that's my point of view and i would appreciate that u all will respect that. i'm open for discussion though. please don't flood my tag board. there's a comments column i reckoned.
all in all, we are people of God and we should try to be a living testimony for HIm. let us all learn to be imitators of Christ. sound of music is nice!! heh
+++1:33 PM+++
Jesus is Love
Thursday, March 24, 2005
i am like sick for 3 weeks already. think the bacteria and viruses in my body took on some form of transformation and became more vital. this is bad! my teacher told me to see a doc and get some anti biotics. it MIGHT help. i dun think i'll need that though. been resting at home for like 3 days already. feel so much better already but can't exercise or wad-so-ever. if i do, chances are that i will injure my dunno which organs. last week had been crazy. had alot stayovers in the midst of my exams and tests. and btw, i did study for those tests and exams. think i will do okie. hah.
anyway, was thinking bout money and friends. most of the time, money will complicate a friendship. for instance, lending people money and trying to get it back. its hard to even ask for it. for a minority, this might not be the case. the bible mentioned bout lending things to better without expecting to get it back. in fact, we are suppose to give more than they ask for. oh well, i am not trying to say that as christians, we are suppose to be santa claus. i think there is a limit to how much we can give and if possible, we should. there is a famous saying, better to give than receive. we should store up treasures in heaven than on earth where moth and rust destroy. did i get that right? same thing with tithing. i know not everyone can tithe but if we are able to, give! we should never restrict ourselves to give only 10% of what we have. the challenge is to ask God to set the amount for us. sometimes He wants us to give everything. when that happens, are we willing to obey? it all goes back to how much we love God and how much we trust in Him. everything that He told us to do, there's a purpose. it might be a test or a trial (whatever u call it), if we are able to conquer it, we will be stronger in Him. obviously, we will be rewarded but thats not the point. the bible never mention anything about our reward. who knows, our reward might be the time when Jesus hold us in His arms and say ' well done my good and faithful servant!' . to me, thats enough. being able to enter heaven is everything. actually, we should be thankful that we are chosen by God. yes, we are unworthy or God's love but he chose to love us -- so how can we complain?
was reading one of my friend's blog. where is God when we are suffering? i tell u the truth, He is there in the midst of us. can u imagine how hurt it is to see ur beloved suffering? He feels the hurt too. trials and tribulations are an opportunity for us to grow. the reason y he chose not to intercede is for that purpose. therefore, when we face troubles, think of it as an opportunity to grow. let us be conquerers.
+++11:20 PM+++
Jesus is Love
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
The synergy conference, on the whole, was kind of refreshing. It’s been awhile since I last went for a conference. During this period of time, I realized that when what God meant when He said worship in spirit and in truth. Not only that, God desires heartfelt worship. All these can be found in the bible but what I am trying to point out is that we should always be desperate in our worship. The more desperate we are, the stronger the Holy Spirit can be felt. Weird huh? Actually it makes perfect sense. By having this ‘desperate’ factor, we declare that we are nothing, and that God is our everything. If that’s the case, we let God take control of our lives.
Most of the workshops covered topics that were repeated in church many times already but its good to be reminded once again. I believe that God will speak to us during every sermon or in this case, workshop. It is the same as reading the bible while doing QT. I could do the same passage 4 times but each attempt, God pointed out different things to me. Thus, when we attend sermon or workshop, it is crucial to ask God to review to us whatever that He wants to tell us. Having a ‘I know all these facts already’ mindset is a very negative attitude. We should never allow such thoughts to cross our mind. In contrast, all of us should have a heart of expectancy in order to allow God to minister to us. As long as our hearts are open, God will move in.
There were countless encounters with the Holy Spirit throughout the conference. The most prominent one was obviously being slained (is that how u spell it?). I was very much tempted to stand up when the preacher who has the lingo of ‘on fire’ asked the youths whether they want to have the prophetic gift or something like that. Anyhow, God challenged me. How will it benefit me if I get slained? Will I love God more? To me, experiences like this will stay within me for a lifetime. I just need one to know that God is real. Having too much of it might have an adverse effect. I fear that having too much of experiences will make me go after the feeling rather than God himself.
The concert was nice. All that jumping and praising God seemed so fun and stuff but above all, it’s hard to focus too. When I worship, I need to feel connected with the Holy Spirit. It has been like this since the first day that I accepted Christ. Whenever I am connected to God, I will either feel very hot on the inside or that there will be a layer of heat surrounding me on the outside. During the concert however, for the first two days, the feeling sort of faded off after the second or third song. I tried everything, raising hands, praying, jumping, and confessing all my sin etc. nothing works! Some time after that, there will be people getting spiritual attack. The same thing happened in Thailand (mob trip). At one moment, all of us were worshipping God and then suddenly, an invisible wall prevented me from connecting to God. Back to what I was saying, spiritual attacks are real. To counter such spirits from finding trouble with you, we have to empty ourselves before God and let Him live in us. Having a footstool in our lives is as though having a space for the devil to live in. no matter how small it is, the devil will use it. When that happens, the Holy Spirit can’t reside in us anymore because we become unclean. Spirits, under normal circumstance will flee when they hear the name of Jesus. Yet, people who held on to their grudges or what so ever strengthened the devil. It gives them a reason to stay on you because you allow that to happen. Fortunately, Jesus already died for our past, present and future sin. As long as we confess daily to God and REPENT, we should be pretty safe. If you are still unsure whether you have confessed everything, ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart. If you are willing, all things are possible. THERE’S NOTHING MY GOD CANNOT DO1!
+++11:06 PM+++
Jesus is Love
yesterday's dream was a continuation of one of my dreams that i had recently. i was at a chalet with some guys and one girl. apparently, the only people that i can remember is chris chia. wad happened was that there was this fat guy (either indian or malay) who barged in to our chalet without our permission. i was quite irritated by that guy but was too busy talking to that girl (think that was my girlfriend or something... heh). anyway, chris went forward to ask him to leave but somehow he got into a long conversation with tt guy. what happened next was that the fat guy asked him to the kitchen to have some private conversation. the fat guy is actually gay and asked chris to be his boyfriend. obviously chris refused and the fat guy killed him. that was dream part one.
yesterday's dream was about chris' funeral. there were alot of people attending that service. chris had like 4 pictures of him in front of the coffin instead of one. three of the photos were actually the amplified version of the ones on display at his house, near the piano. the other one was the hidden one in the basement. mark and edwin sat at the back separately. uncle albert (keith's dad) was sitting on the first row, reserving 4 seats. pastor william looked rather distressed and sat on the 2nd seat on the first row as well. as i looked around, i heard alot of strangers gossiping about chris. i was subconscious at that time when the gossiping took place. when i got up, i was asked to pray. was rather freaked out by that dream but nevertheless, i prayed. the dream still carried on though. chris' family wasn't there. i continued to look around until my alarm clock rang.
my dream wasn't exactly a dream. it might be some imagination of mine because i was partially awake but the events could carry on. the fact that its a continuation really freaked me off, and the voice that told me to pray?!!??!!
i'm going HK this coming Monday. i got a bad feeling bout this. yesterday when i was praying about it, i saw myself fighting some street robbers. freaky. pls pray for me pple. thanks
Jesus is Love
Sunday, March 27, 2005
just finished watching a korean show ' my brother' at chrystal's place. it is so depressing. as i was walking back home, i thought of the way i treated my brother and somehow i think i've neglected him quite abit. but then again, he's hardly home. it was full moon tonight. as i was walking down the quiet road, a lunatic came towards me, or rather walked towards my direction. he shouted at every vehicle that went pass him. i freaked out at first cuz i was too engrossed admiring the moon (romantic eh?). stupid guy, spoiled my walk home.
i always like walking back home alone, in the dark. it gets me thinking and i could exercise at the same time. breathing in fresh air and slacking. haha. wad joy! anyhow, it was great today, spending time with people i love. i like one to one conversations, i like hugs, i like attention and i like crapping. whee. im gone. nitez out!!
Jesus is Love
Saturday, March 26, 2005
recently i've been observing, why certain girls look more attractive than the rest. it all goes down to one thing, apart from their physical appearance. a girl will appear more appealing when they know how to behave. i am not trying to say that girls should be quiet or cover their mouth when they laugh. that will be abit too unnatural and boring. but rather, one should learn how to be pure and be themselves rather than mimicking other people whom u look up to. guys like things that are unique, they will get curious over things that are new to them (generally, same thing applies to how guys look at girls). by being somebody that u are not, u are simply making urself a substitute. it might sounds harsh but this is reality. getting too violent or physically at some minor teasing is a big NO NO! it absolutely turns people off. u might think at its fun or cute or wadeva but HEY, i am telling u again that its not.
in some other cases, guys or rather me, i like girls that respond positively. for instance, when i tease Adele or Chrystal, they don't pinch me or kick me or wadeva. they just smile or try to get back at me. that is what i call attractive. all that teasing don't involve thorns but purely fun. heh.
another attractive factor in a girl is the purity in them. Pure physically and mentally. girls that don't pollute themselves with information or topics such as sex. i am not saying that they should be totally ignorant bout it, but keep it low. we are christians and by speaking bout such stuff opening ain't very glorifying to God. yes, i agree that the world is getting more liberal but we shouldn't be influenced by the world. anyway, that's my point of view and i would appreciate that u all will respect that. i'm open for discussion though. please don't flood my tag board. there's a comments column i reckoned.
all in all, we are people of God and we should try to be a living testimony for HIm. let us all learn to be imitators of Christ. sound of music is nice!! heh
Jesus is Love
Thursday, March 24, 2005
i am like sick for 3 weeks already. think the bacteria and viruses in my body took on some form of transformation and became more vital. this is bad! my teacher told me to see a doc and get some anti biotics. it MIGHT help. i dun think i'll need that though. been resting at home for like 3 days already. feel so much better already but can't exercise or wad-so-ever. if i do, chances are that i will injure my dunno which organs. last week had been crazy. had alot stayovers in the midst of my exams and tests. and btw, i did study for those tests and exams. think i will do okie. hah.
anyway, was thinking bout money and friends. most of the time, money will complicate a friendship. for instance, lending people money and trying to get it back. its hard to even ask for it. for a minority, this might not be the case. the bible mentioned bout lending things to better without expecting to get it back. in fact, we are suppose to give more than they ask for. oh well, i am not trying to say that as christians, we are suppose to be santa claus. i think there is a limit to how much we can give and if possible, we should. there is a famous saying, better to give than receive. we should store up treasures in heaven than on earth where moth and rust destroy. did i get that right? same thing with tithing. i know not everyone can tithe but if we are able to, give! we should never restrict ourselves to give only 10% of what we have. the challenge is to ask God to set the amount for us. sometimes He wants us to give everything. when that happens, are we willing to obey? it all goes back to how much we love God and how much we trust in Him. everything that He told us to do, there's a purpose. it might be a test or a trial (whatever u call it), if we are able to conquer it, we will be stronger in Him. obviously, we will be rewarded but thats not the point. the bible never mention anything about our reward. who knows, our reward might be the time when Jesus hold us in His arms and say ' well done my good and faithful servant!' . to me, thats enough. being able to enter heaven is everything. actually, we should be thankful that we are chosen by God. yes, we are unworthy or God's love but he chose to love us -- so how can we complain?
was reading one of my friend's blog. where is God when we are suffering? i tell u the truth, He is there in the midst of us. can u imagine how hurt it is to see ur beloved suffering? He feels the hurt too. trials and tribulations are an opportunity for us to grow. the reason y he chose not to intercede is for that purpose. therefore, when we face troubles, think of it as an opportunity to grow. let us be conquerers.
Jesus is Love
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
The synergy conference, on the whole, was kind of refreshing. It’s been awhile since I last went for a conference. During this period of time, I realized that when what God meant when He said worship in spirit and in truth. Not only that, God desires heartfelt worship. All these can be found in the bible but what I am trying to point out is that we should always be desperate in our worship. The more desperate we are, the stronger the Holy Spirit can be felt. Weird huh? Actually it makes perfect sense. By having this ‘desperate’ factor, we declare that we are nothing, and that God is our everything. If that’s the case, we let God take control of our lives.
Most of the workshops covered topics that were repeated in church many times already but its good to be reminded once again. I believe that God will speak to us during every sermon or in this case, workshop. It is the same as reading the bible while doing QT. I could do the same passage 4 times but each attempt, God pointed out different things to me. Thus, when we attend sermon or workshop, it is crucial to ask God to review to us whatever that He wants to tell us. Having a ‘I know all these facts already’ mindset is a very negative attitude. We should never allow such thoughts to cross our mind. In contrast, all of us should have a heart of expectancy in order to allow God to minister to us. As long as our hearts are open, God will move in.
There were countless encounters with the Holy Spirit throughout the conference. The most prominent one was obviously being slained (is that how u spell it?). I was very much tempted to stand up when the preacher who has the lingo of ‘on fire’ asked the youths whether they want to have the prophetic gift or something like that. Anyhow, God challenged me. How will it benefit me if I get slained? Will I love God more? To me, experiences like this will stay within me for a lifetime. I just need one to know that God is real. Having too much of it might have an adverse effect. I fear that having too much of experiences will make me go after the feeling rather than God himself.
The concert was nice. All that jumping and praising God seemed so fun and stuff but above all, it’s hard to focus too. When I worship, I need to feel connected with the Holy Spirit. It has been like this since the first day that I accepted Christ. Whenever I am connected to God, I will either feel very hot on the inside or that there will be a layer of heat surrounding me on the outside. During the concert however, for the first two days, the feeling sort of faded off after the second or third song. I tried everything, raising hands, praying, jumping, and confessing all my sin etc. nothing works! Some time after that, there will be people getting spiritual attack. The same thing happened in Thailand (mob trip). At one moment, all of us were worshipping God and then suddenly, an invisible wall prevented me from connecting to God. Back to what I was saying, spiritual attacks are real. To counter such spirits from finding trouble with you, we have to empty ourselves before God and let Him live in us. Having a footstool in our lives is as though having a space for the devil to live in. no matter how small it is, the devil will use it. When that happens, the Holy Spirit can’t reside in us anymore because we become unclean. Spirits, under normal circumstance will flee when they hear the name of Jesus. Yet, people who held on to their grudges or what so ever strengthened the devil. It gives them a reason to stay on you because you allow that to happen. Fortunately, Jesus already died for our past, present and future sin. As long as we confess daily to God and REPENT, we should be pretty safe. If you are still unsure whether you have confessed everything, ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart. If you are willing, all things are possible. THERE’S NOTHING MY GOD CANNOT DO1!
Jesus is Love