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Wednesday, July 30, 2008
i finally found time to update my blog since im having lesson now. that's what happen when u sign up for lesson during holidays and the best thing bout this module is that its pass/fail and no exams. thus, i can afford to do all sort of things without feeling guity or scared that i might actually fail.
2 weeks of camp just ended, i'm suppose to have hall camp this week but im stuck in school having this boring lesson everyday from 9 to 4pm. wad a dread!!! during this two camps, alot of things happened and i'm not sure if its good or bad.
firstly, being very upfront can be kind of devastating. it makes u feel a bit more superior than others since there are always people crowding around u. this superiority that i felt caused me to ostracize those unpopular, maybe ostracise is too strong of a word. okay, how bout exclude. yeah so what happen was that during my first camp, there was this senior who got on my nerves. everytime i crack a joke, he'll either spoil it for me or simply roll his eyes. the thing was that i was like trying to entertain my freshies. this was not the only thing that pisses me though. he's always not in sync with our conversations, it's like when we make a comment, he'll surely oppose it and frown like crazy. it's like pushing both ur eyebrows inwards and talking to someone.
>_< .. can u feel it?
generally, i like people, i need people to be around me. at first i thought i don't have any trouble loving people, but i do. God is placing more and more irritants around me that make it really hard to simply ignore. i know i should love them, i am trying but somehow its not working. i know i am missing something and i know also that 'that something' is God. this morning i was reading this devotion that we should place our faith in God rather than in man. its kind of like a DUH statement but is it so easy to apply? at least for me, it doesn't. i recall that jerick once told me about how he sees everyone and the secret of loving them. he sees them as God's child and how much God loves them. imagine how ur parents will feel if we hated our siblings.
okay whatever, one thing bout camp is that all of us must go through nightwalk. as a christian, what do u think is our stand on this? organisers must go through a prayer session, burning papers and the sticks. we obviously will not join in BUT, do u think we should pray to God to protect us from all these spirits? the thing is this, why are we asking God to protect us when we are delibrately disturbing the spirits and engaging in something Jesus will not do? however, we must also take into consideration that school is our mission field. if we want to reach out to them effectively, it'll be better if we can be one of them. so now, how can we be part of them. it goes back to how a friendship can be developed. the most fundamental love language is time. spending time with people includes doing stuff together.
by default, i was arrowed to be one of the main ghost. tried to push it away but they lack man power so ya. spent almost 6 hrs in the room trying to scare people but after like 2 hrs, i got kinda sick of like doing the same thing over and over again. at the back of my mind, i was aware that there's more than 50 groups and so far its the xxx group. something like looking at your watch while waiting for ur bus. time doesn't slow down but it definitely felt that way!
the last thing i wanted to share is about my orientation group. S group has been part of me whether i like it or not. at first i wasn't too proud to be in S group simply because once u step out of the group, u realise that there's alot of people against us and remind us how bad our group culture is. no matter how much u like the group, constant reminder bout how bad your group is will distort ur believe. when i joined back the group, i felt as though my group were somewhat discriminating me, perhaps cuz i was hardly around. i was super comfortable with my pag friends and since we were all like included as programmers, we had a choice of whether we want to join our groups or not, occasionally. as much as i want to join them, i wasn't sure. it was quite an agony cuz a part of me wanna stay with my pag friends and the other part of me wants to reconcile with my group, or rather making sure that everything's fine.
going for so much camp deprived me of time spent with God. its been 2 weeks and for 2 weeks my spiritual life became quite dry. Life's so pack that i didn't have time to think about God. that's y i love sundays now. going back to church and going for cg keeps me saint. okie err the lecturer is just in front of me so i shall end off now.
sorry minghui, it took me so long to post. haha.
+++9:21 AM+++
Jesus is Love
i finally found time to update my blog since im having lesson now. that's what happen when u sign up for lesson during holidays and the best thing bout this module is that its pass/fail and no exams. thus, i can afford to do all sort of things without feeling guity or scared that i might actually fail.
2 weeks of camp just ended, i'm suppose to have hall camp this week but im stuck in school having this boring lesson everyday from 9 to 4pm. wad a dread!!! during this two camps, alot of things happened and i'm not sure if its good or bad.
firstly, being very upfront can be kind of devastating. it makes u feel a bit more superior than others since there are always people crowding around u. this superiority that i felt caused me to ostracize those unpopular, maybe ostracise is too strong of a word. okay, how bout exclude. yeah so what happen was that during my first camp, there was this senior who got on my nerves. everytime i crack a joke, he'll either spoil it for me or simply roll his eyes. the thing was that i was like trying to entertain my freshies. this was not the only thing that pisses me though. he's always not in sync with our conversations, it's like when we make a comment, he'll surely oppose it and frown like crazy. it's like pushing both ur eyebrows inwards and talking to someone.
>_< .. can u feel it?
generally, i like people, i need people to be around me. at first i thought i don't have any trouble loving people, but i do. God is placing more and more irritants around me that make it really hard to simply ignore. i know i should love them, i am trying but somehow its not working. i know i am missing something and i know also that 'that something' is God. this morning i was reading this devotion that we should place our faith in God rather than in man. its kind of like a DUH statement but is it so easy to apply? at least for me, it doesn't. i recall that jerick once told me about how he sees everyone and the secret of loving them. he sees them as God's child and how much God loves them. imagine how ur parents will feel if we hated our siblings.
okay whatever, one thing bout camp is that all of us must go through nightwalk. as a christian, what do u think is our stand on this? organisers must go through a prayer session, burning papers and the sticks. we obviously will not join in BUT, do u think we should pray to God to protect us from all these spirits? the thing is this, why are we asking God to protect us when we are delibrately disturbing the spirits and engaging in something Jesus will not do? however, we must also take into consideration that school is our mission field. if we want to reach out to them effectively, it'll be better if we can be one of them. so now, how can we be part of them. it goes back to how a friendship can be developed. the most fundamental love language is time. spending time with people includes doing stuff together.
by default, i was arrowed to be one of the main ghost. tried to push it away but they lack man power so ya. spent almost 6 hrs in the room trying to scare people but after like 2 hrs, i got kinda sick of like doing the same thing over and over again. at the back of my mind, i was aware that there's more than 50 groups and so far its the xxx group. something like looking at your watch while waiting for ur bus. time doesn't slow down but it definitely felt that way!
the last thing i wanted to share is about my orientation group. S group has been part of me whether i like it or not. at first i wasn't too proud to be in S group simply because once u step out of the group, u realise that there's alot of people against us and remind us how bad our group culture is. no matter how much u like the group, constant reminder bout how bad your group is will distort ur believe. when i joined back the group, i felt as though my group were somewhat discriminating me, perhaps cuz i was hardly around. i was super comfortable with my pag friends and since we were all like included as programmers, we had a choice of whether we want to join our groups or not, occasionally. as much as i want to join them, i wasn't sure. it was quite an agony cuz a part of me wanna stay with my pag friends and the other part of me wants to reconcile with my group, or rather making sure that everything's fine.
going for so much camp deprived me of time spent with God. its been 2 weeks and for 2 weeks my spiritual life became quite dry. Life's so pack that i didn't have time to think about God. that's y i love sundays now. going back to church and going for cg keeps me saint. okie err the lecturer is just in front of me so i shall end off now.
sorry minghui, it took me so long to post. haha.
Jesus is Love