Teacher's Diary

Sunday, February 28, 2010

being image conscious is good only when u are dealing with strangers. i guess sometimes i do get a little cocky when i dress up. learn how to deal with it and learning how to be less of myself. i love my friends around me and i must appreciate them more.

pam looked exceptionally gorgeous today. its a good thing we were outside the ballroom before the dinner started if not we would have missed the camwhoring session with her just before she gets really bz entertaining friends and relatives inside. once again, i can only upload the photos with miss pj sends it to me. the food was ookay, the table was full of aunties and uncles. eventho i sound as tho im complaining but im not. they were quite nice and u know wads the best part, they don't eat alot! oh yea, more food. christine was quite poor thing cuz she got allocated a table without anyone that she knows. luckily for her, she's a socialite so in no time at all, she made friends alr.

midway during the dinner, christine walked over and asked us if we drove. well, the no did so she asked if we want to take train back together since we stay quite close to each other. we didn't really give her a reply but it was kinda like a yes to her. then we went on to talk about taking the train together and stuff. when dinner ended at around 11 plus, four of us still wanted to go somewhere to chill but the problem lies with christine. no one dared to tell her! its a good thing that she picked up the non verbal signals given out by us when we were talking earlier on. she already called her dad to pick her up so it was a blessing i guess.

played monopoly deal at harry's. quite a nice place to chill actually. the service was good. they stopped catering already but we had craving for fries so we asked if we can order from macs and bring it there. the boss agreed and even gave us plates, forks and servettes. during the game, i dunno y pj didn't catch the rules of the game and somehow it affected my mood abit. i snapped at her a couple of times for all the dumb remarks but lucky for me, she was quite patient and forgiving. felt really bad after that!! to me, i dun understand y people cannot understand simple game like monopoly deal which caters to pple from 6 yrs old to a hundred if u're still alive by then.

that got me thinking again. i will be teaching in a secondary school soon. people there ain't that smart, i better not be so impatient with them or i will lose them. keep my focus on God and remember y i wanna teach in the first place. God grant me patience and strength.

+++1:42 AM+++

Jesus is Love
Saturday, February 27, 2010

after submitting my essay and finishing my semi conductor quiz, i graciously declared myself free, not to the extend of obliterating my work. like any normal student, i still free the stress from the intensity of workload but in order to suppress the guilt, i brought HA205 readings to ruiquan's room for the hope of studying awhile before the actual fun begins. shufen was there already so the studying mood remained dormant.

we started the program with monopoly deal, shufen gave up halfway cuz she kept losing everything. rq won the first game by pure luck since he had like 2 say no cards and 2 deal breakers. subsequently, i won a couple of games, seems like i've been getting better, cheap thrill!! then came jamie and genesius with a bottle of volka. as usual, there wasn't ice so we had warm volka with ribena which sucks. subsequently we had volka with h2o. in my opinion, its a heavenly concoction. i wanted to try the kahlua milo but not enough cups. quite zz but i guess it can't be helped since we didn't have enough mugs to go around and gene didn't wanna drink that so yea. life sucks. wanna have one more soon before the start of non stop mugging. the decibel level from our room skyrocketed that night cuz of sockie, perhaps our continuous laughter too. quite long nv experience this level of high-ness already and it makes me feel like clubbing soon. non stop dancing and alcohol, sinisterly pleasurable.

content were stictly made confidential, only within the four walls and afterwhich there should be no more discussion on whatsoever. life in uni can be really scandelous, slightly distasteful i must say. kinda made me realise that perhaps i am just too sheltered from church, in a way its good. i like to be pure and innocent like i already am. *halo above my head* wooots~~

joyce's performance today at hall prod was phenominally bitchy! all around me people were discussing if it was her true inner self finally emerging to greet the audience. we (wq and i) had the premium seats @ row E, one row higher than the profs, third row from the front, mid seats. andy and wanteng were beside us. initially i didn't wanna join them cuz i got a feeling that andy will mind, he shot me a look and i also dunno how to respond. once again, maybe im overly sensitive. if u think about it, im sure i will mind too if my gf is hanging out with her i suppose. moreover, he dunno me that well so ya. went dinner with lauren and weiqi after that, walked out together with the hall xv cheer team. felt like old times, just laughing and updating each other, in a way its refreshing. tried to matchmake hh and lauren after that but failed la. hahah.

i think its quite fun to see ur friends getting together. i like it when all my friends are in a way connected, one outing can meet a few groups. u dun even have to entertain them cuz they can mingle on their own. maybe thats wad 21st birthday party is for! i wanna find a reason to do host a party, house warming or something. pray hard that dad can hurry up sell the land in batam so we can move to a condo near church. cherry hills!! hahaha

with regards to what has happened around me, its not that i dun care. honestly, there's nothing i can do and u dun expect me to engage in a series of emo crap right. i choose to move on and let it pass. in the first place, i don't even know why it happened. friendship can't be forced upon, in any case, i dun think its that serious la.lol

this is my talented cg random jamming session at lum's house.. heh

+++12:12 AM+++

Jesus is Love
Thursday, February 25, 2010

alright, the week's gonna be over soon and i will be free from the immense workload. essay is done, tutorial for nano barely done but at least i handed it up on time. my quiz tmr, hmm, hopefully i can do well!!

this recess week gonna be quite exciting because i am going to catch up on all the subjects that i had been lagging, namely numerical analysis, nanophysics and my lab!! argh, i can't believe i totally forgot about it. so much for wanting to go out after my quiz. that has to wait i guess.

going to meet my cell group at thomson for some fabulous burger, fatty bom bom or something. the name is rather amusing but apparently not enough for me to ring a bell. and yes, not given alot of time to stay there cuz i promise ruiquan to go his room for a drinking session. we are gonna do stupid things just before we officially start mugging for exams. FINAL SEM LE.. need to buck up!! byebye to books for this week and its time to PARTYYY!!

just had a confirmation interview with a secondary school. intend to do my intern there. God has been wonderful to me. i was told that my internship might not be paid or if not i wil be receiving only $100 per month. however after talking to the school, they are excited to have me and most probably i will be given a relief teaching pay. WOOOTSS!! too bad dar not around for a treat. heh. then again, i might not even have to pay cuz i have qian si to do the honor. fabulous friends!!

oh and i just learnt that there's such a thing call divine friendship, like King David and Jonathon. the were connected spiritually and i suppose that is something that i can pray for apart from having a christian girlfriend. hahaha. gosh, speaking of which, can't wait to see the girl that pamela gonna intro me to.

james just asked me out to shop and we will be claiming our ice cream treat from minghui. hahha. 2 years!! how lame is that. LOL. shop eat movie. all this will officially end on tuesday!! pack up my mood for finals!

kelvin to kelbert... transformation 40% complete. back to semiconductor.

i miss my best friend!!

+++1:46 AM+++

Jesus is Love
Tuesday, February 23, 2010

before u God, i am small. yet, i am not insignificant.
before u God, i am weak. yet, i am still able to do great things.
before u God, i am poor. yet, i am not in poverty.

u enabled me to love when u first loved me.
u pick me up when i fall down.
u comfort me when i feel as though the world around me collapse.
u reveal to me the truth about the world, yet i didn't listen.

there are consequences towards everything.
now i understand.
i thank you God for not forsaking me.
i think you God for bringing me out of the mess that i am in.
i thank you God for friends who stood by me.

now as i stand before u God, i surrender my heart to you.
mould me and shape me into someone of value to you Lord.
help me to bless my brothers and sisters around me.
that u will multiply my gifts to bless them.
that there will be more outpouring of your love in my life.
show grace to me as i have shown others.
walk by me cuz i am weak.
this is my desire Lord.
i want to be where u are.

Amen!!

had our first session of cellgroup at hall 15 today in wanteng's room. thanks for opening up ur room and yes, there's air con and thank God for that. u know im really thankful also that despite so many things that happened between us (wt), we remained as good friends. somehow its very easy to confide in her, i know that she'll pray for me. felt abit bad tho, that the sharing had to be done in class while lesson was going on. think christina was quite distracted too. three of us just sat there, totally not listening to the lecture at all. but, i did learn something from it. hope they did too. now i suppose even wt wanna kill me for distracting her in class, i can lead her in a time of relaxation. breathe in one two three, hold one two three and breath out one two three. LOLOLOL

now ur hands are heavier and u feel very relax. let go of the muscles. let ur tummy be flabby. u are very relaxed. imagine yourself walking on the sandy beach. the weather is hot, there are alot of birds in the air. ehhh.. so hot cannot look up, if the bird shit on you then how. i love mind over stress!!

+++1:12 AM+++

Jesus is Love
Sunday, February 21, 2010

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing your praise? How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love? How can I keep from shouting your name? I know i am loved by the king, and it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels

+++9:38 PM+++

this is dedicated to gym. heh weiqi gonna move in to hall 6 le. woots. we are so gonna be BFF hor? hahaha. retarded la, eueu can stay over and mug with us during exams period. its going to be full throttle soon. oh yea, this week gonna be crappy cuz 1 essay and 1 quiz coming my way.

but seven exciting events over the weekend.
1) thurs night - drinking session with sockie rq and julia
2) fri night- hall prod
3) sat morning- church opening (pls come k)
4) - sufen's soleminization
5) sat night - wedding banquet
6) sun afternoon- ya hub ( u hub yet? hahah)
7) - meet ivan to PACE!! wooooot~~

hahaha.. sufen going to introduce me one sweet and nice christian girl from WFC. she feels that i will like her and so we shall we. CHRISTIAN girl.. OMGOSH!! thankfully i still left one more set of nice clothes.

heh tribute to gym..

+++7:05 PM+++

Jesus is Love
Saturday, February 20, 2010

HA205 presentation is finally over. thanks to wq nurul and their dean lister friend who helped me with the outline and precious comments on my presentation. only managed to finish it at 2am in the morning and still had to edit it just before the presentation cuz i felt that certain parts lack a good transition point.

this module had definitely stirred some interest in me to read up on politics but somehow i think its too dark for my liking. i prefer things to be like simple and just as it is, without any hidden agenda. in the political arena, there is always hidden meanings to every sentence and it can be quite frustrating in times because issues are open to different interpretations.

so thursday morning, 3 presentations in an hour, i was the first to do so thus my lappy was put into play all way thru. since i only had time to work on my content, i came up with a script that allows me to just read it from there. didn't even bother to dress up cuz i want the attention to be on the slides so it was a deliberate attempt to insert interesting comics and quotes that the mass media came up with as well as Mr LKY. prof told me to make it snappy and so i did which resulted in a fast pace presentation which i suppose was kind of like a content overloading in my part. this is definitely a plus point for me since no one would have understood my presentation apart from the lecturer therefore no questions will be directed on me. Most importantly, the frequent few who likes to ask questions happen to be the ones that i befriended with so i was kinda like on immunity. wooots~~

to sum it up, the presentation went well and i receive good comments. was hoping for some feedback as well so i know what are the changes i can make to write my essay. so after all 3 groups presented, we still had like 10 mins plus for Q and A. during which, i com lay dormant without any movement. everyone was staring at my wall paper, the one with the NOVOs at cameron highland posing with the scarecrow. the girls in front turned and looked at me to verify that i was indeed in that photo. then, the last 5 mins, my screen saver went on and my pictures started flashing. the first photo was me in sentosa half naked, sun tanning. everyone burst out laughing except for the prof since he was back facing the screen. of course, he turned back and look too. by then, it was already the second pic with dar. third photo was my pag photos with a sash around my neck so the lecturer walked over to me and asked if i was the school king. by now everyone was more interested in me than the guy who was talking. AWKWARD, however i dun deny that i enjoyed the attention for awhile before i realised that i was quite dress down. HAHAH..

went to back style my hair and put on contacts cuz had to meet the NOVOs for our celebration dinner with the leftover money from the event. i was one of the latest to arrive cuz i insisted on finishing the movie before i set off. its wq's fault because initially she wanted to meet earlier to buy cake. in the end, i just nuaed in hall so i started watching. LOL.

had buffet at kublai khan. it wasn't that fantastic but still, quite a unique experience. the first outing without taking much photos tho. since we were so full and still had alot of money left, decided to go pub and chillax. i had jack daniel with coke plus two glasses of red wine. felt abit high after that but definitely sober. took alot of unglam shots then, think wq gonna blackmail me. i can't remember wad we talked about but it felt really good. raisa keep telling us to order more cuz we can still afford to have a few more rounds and she added on by saying that having this ability to splurge definitely rocks. in the end, all of us took a cab back and guess what, i was on this limousine cab and the journey from town to yee tee followed by jurong west and ntu cost me $48!!! thought the seats are nice and comfy, it would have cost me to incur a heart attack if not for the fact that it was fully paid for by the committee.

friday, went to ivena's house to play mahjong and lau yu sheng! her bro's friends were there too and surprisingly his friends were quite young, almost the same age as us. one of them still schooling so i presume is in her final year in uni. she's quite HOTT. woo la la. talked to her once since ivena's bro told us to mingle and help him entertain his friends while he go upstairs to bathe. and yes, his gf is dang pretty. it changes yearly and i dunno how he did it cuz the past few exs were nice too. maybe this is wad happens when u drive an F16 during work and after that a merc. hahah

so as we were sitting at the round table, ivena told her parents that she going to be my 2nd wife, 1st wife being cherylene cuz we had a 10 year deal which expires end of the year. so we were talking about how much money do well usually give for wedding dinners, the ang paos will go to the bride's mum etc.. after that, we went on to talk about underwear colors and how it will affect our winnings in mahjong. ivena' mum is dang funny she saying that this year's color is black BUT if u dun wear it, u'll sure win!! hahahahaha.

+++10:40 AM+++

Jesus is Love
Monday, February 15, 2010

this few days had been pretty monotonous, i kinda liked that though. just to slow things down abit, watching tv programs with my parents, doing stuff together, taking afternoon naps and reading up on politics.

here's one cool activity that my family engaged in after my cousins left my place on chu yi.

+++6:24 PM+++

Jesus is Love
Friday, February 12, 2010

what constitutes a happy ending? in fairy tales, two people madly in love,will be married and lived happily ever after. prince will always get a pretty girl and thats the end of the story. however, every story has a climax and every climax will contain hardships that the prince will have to go through to "earn" the right to be together with the girl of his dreams. fighting dragons and evil step mum, those villians that we hate so much might just be the catalyst to forge such strong love.

in real life, perhaps fairytales do happen but these are rare cases. when i like u, that does not mean that u will like me back. first at first sight, as much as i hope to have such an encounter, will not occur. pride, my safety net, or should i say biggest setback, has disallowed me to in layman terms "go all out". these can be thought of as excuses, trying to make myself less of a loser. love as a feeling, is fragile and easily being tempered upon by people, circumstance and time. however, without the initial push of this feeling, one cannot progress on to bring the defination of love into a whole new level - love as a choice.

i consider myself a neophyte in chasing girls, somehow i'm just not good enough. not enough courage, not fast enough. perhaps i have always been living with a golden spoon, or maybe, i'm simply not ready. God told me that i can do what i want and He also warned me the consequences. coincidentally, today during class, prof spoke to us about following instructions. things will be much quicker if we follow rules and in my case, obedience to God. the issue not is not so much as to how come christians need to find a non christian gf. God did stop me but in this case, He gave me a choice and when i read on about the consequences, i just wasn't sure i was able to take it. am i truly in love with yy or is it just because i know that she liked me, even if its just a passing thought. to me it matters because i felt connected with her, i felt happy when i'm with her, i felt loved when i was able to hold her and whisper stuff to her. i felt blessed when i was able to hold her hands and affirmed her before she went on stage. all these circumstances, though might be purely one sided mattered. however, things didn't turned out the way i wanted. i felt neglected, i confronted her, things turned out quite ugly. yes, we apologised and remained as friends. the long break watered down the sparks that i used to feel. i needed a girl that is willing to make time for me and this is something that she couldn't do for me.

somehow i am convinced that this is a whole new beginning but what now? daryl's going to introduce me some girls when he comes back. i am quite skeptical bout it tho. the kinda girls that he know are probably those from rj and to them, i might just be another piece of fresh meat to chew on.

so how am i feeling now? convinced the whole world that i am okay. guess weiqi is smart enough to sms me to check again. however, this failure is something that i refuse to accept for now. it hurts and i dun feel like talking about it. think i'll meet qingnan for a drink and i'll be fine. it's good to have pals that know u inside out so i dun have to hide anything from them. can't believe i lied to daryl. let that be the first and last. pride be gone...

+++10:44 PM+++

Jesus is Love
Thursday, February 11, 2010

Before i depict the scenario, i'll like to clear the common fallacy- Ones wrongdoings do not reflect the measure of evil in his/her heart.There are other reasons for misbehaviour, such as peer pressure, fear of losing one's pride, which usually leads to insecurity, which usually leads to succumbing to bad influences, etc. i.e. a child brought up by his/her family in a good environment changes his behaviour and soon, character in school because he/she chooses to follow the bad influence for fear of being rejected as a friend or getting bullied. In his/her mind, he/she decided between the two: One either follows to get acceptance, or stands firm in the right ways and gets bullied. Yet who can blame this child for following his/her survival instincts? I can only lament that he/she did not know God, who is faithful to deliver us from trouble, and resorted to 'blending in' to protect him/herself.

A test of love, gratitude, and selflessness; a test to see one's heart.
ok to the scenario: You were out one day and your 2 children, a daughter and a son were alone at home. 2 kidnappers armed with knifes attempted to kidnap them. There were 2 other foreign men at the scene, who saw the assault and rushed to stop them. A fight broke out. The foreign men eventually managed to fight off the kidnappers, who fled. However, 1 of the men who came to the rescue, the only son of the other, was stabbed in the fight, and according to your daughter, he died on the spot. The father was extremely grieved for his son, who came from Nepal, Gokyo; one of the Himalayan peaks,to study in your country. The father forgave the kidnappers because they did not know what they were doing. He would bury his son in your country because the bright child had always wanted to migrate and live here. Moreover, it was not important to give his son a proper 'farewell' ceremony for in their culture, 'the spirit still lives though the body passes away'. The father told your children that you could find him at where his hometown was at Gokyo if you wanted to, passed them his address on a piece of paper and said 'Come within 30 days time, if not, do not come at all.' Still weeping bitterly, he left with his son's body. Would you go to Gokyo to find him, thank him and comfort him? You have a very busy schedule at work; a project you have to finish and a deal which you have to secure within the next month. If you do not finish these tasks, you'll lose your job. The same question comes back to your mind: Would you go to Gokyo to find him, thank him and comfort him?

Suppose you chose to visit him at Gokyo and found his hometown, but his neighbours said that he had left for Switzerland to live with his brother. Upon further explanation, you found out that he had been suffering from lung cancer and only has less than a month left to live. He wished to spend his last days with his brother, whose family migrated to Switzerland many years ago, and also needed emotional support. They gave you the town name and location, and informed you that within lives a small community of 5000. Would you still resolve to look for him?

A difficult decision for many, but think: If a man can lose his only son who is most precious to him, so that you will not lose your two children who are both most precious to you, then why is it so difficult for us to just step out of our 'comfort zone' and lose our job? How hard has our heart become? Even for those of us who build a resolve in our minds and now say that we will look for that man to express gratiude and show comfort, most of us do not have the strength, resolve and HEART to take action and stand firm in the midst of failures and disappointment. When such a situation arises, the magnitude of the 'sacrifices' we have to make and the uncertainty of success will daunt us so much we will resolve instead to make convincing excuses to back out. So in future, let us always treat others as we would ourselves in everything we do. Know that every human being is as Real a person as us, with emotions, hopes and fears as big as ours. They might be insignificant to us, for we are the centre of our universe, but similarly, they are the centre of theirs. From the 3rd person point of view, everyone is equal, only our circumstances are different. If we are in the shoes of a victim of the Haiti earthquake, we will hope that those living in peace would have a softer heart, and support rescue efforts. If the Haiti earthquake victim was born in a developed nation, he/she might probably have little heart for disaster-stricken victims half a world away either. So lets us ALWAYS remember that we sometimes forget these things amidst the hustle and bustle of life. Search our own hearts once in a while, and see if we still remember how to love.
_______________________________________________________________________________
(To those who are not open to Christianity, you can stop reading here. Thanks for your time! =))

For those who want to find out more on Christianity, here's some links:

This is a complete and very good multi-media explanation on the central belief in Christianity you can watch.
http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=57b89216572c373fc2d1

Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry has the answers to all kinds of questions you might ask. Once you learn how to get around this site you'll love it!
http://www.carm.org

A Parallel Story in Reality
True enough, as we can see in reality, our hearts are hard. We hear of this guy named Jesus, who lived a sinless life and died for us 2000 years ago so that all who believed in Him would be forgiven of their sins, saved, and given eternal life. Some might ask, 'Isn't "just believing" not enough? How can believing in Jesus deem me righteous enough to live forever?' But in 'believing' is where the real test lies; the test to see one's heart, the test that God Himself has set in place to see if we who were created to love, still love. as in the example of the father and son who fought off the kidnappers, if we love the father, are grateful for his son's sacrifice, and do not put our selfish gains in front of their selfless losses, then we will believe that the accounts of our children are true. 'Believing' has been undermined alot since Jesus' time. Look at those in the Bible who believed in Jesus easily. It might seem like nothing much, but they were rewarded and honored greatly for their faith, because 'believing' showed that they loved and appreciated(were grateful to) Jesus, and (were selfless)put Him first!

Eg. John 1:50 Jesus said[to Nathanael], "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that."
John 4:39-41 Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, "He told me everything I ever did. So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words many more became believers.

God knows us best because He created us; He knows how things work deep in our hearts. He will not let us be saved by just 'believing' if He saw that it was unfair. In relation to the initial scenario given, Christians are like the children who gave the account of the 2 selfless men coming to their rescue. The piece of paper with the address of the man's hometown on Gokyo is like the Bible, the reliable Word God has given us to lead us to believe in Him. Can we say that the children are lying? Or can we say that they forged the handwriting? Yes, if we take an extreme point of view. (Er, i tell myself that probably some adolescent came and tricked my children to play this prank on me. Simple. I dont have to take the trouble to fly to Nepal or climb any mountain to see if its true anymore! Well done, now time to carry on with my life, finish the project, secure the deal and get a raise!) It is very very easy to be deceived in our minds and to take the easy way out. We all saw how easy it was and know how comfortable it feels when all the responsibility is washed off our hands. The devil will use all ways and means to shift our focus off God, and one of his sure-strike ways to success is to distract us with the hustle and bustle of life; other priorities like school workload and corporate responsibilities. Another would be to use science and logic to wipe out and sense of belief, that is, love, gratitude and selflessness left in us. We cannot subscribe to these distractions so easily knowing that there are others out there who need us! They need LOVE.

This world needs God because God is Love
God is a God of the heart, the God of all eternity and all creation, not a God of science and modern-day human logic. Look at the big picture and see that our generation is like a vapour in the wind in the course of human history. There are some things we have been doing since the first man, and are still doing today. These, humans were created to do: love, worship God and fellowship in community. Yet, in this generation, we suffer tremendously because much of what we do is the opposite. We experience heartbreaks, show off, are tired of living and live for ourselves. These happen because we have strayed away from God. God is Love.
1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
The world is so loveless today. People lament that 'Life Sucks' when life is the greatest gift of all. This is because we are away from God, the source of all life and love. Can a plant stay in darkness and become more and more alive each day? Similarly, can we not know God, not live with Him and become more and more alive each day? We were created to live with Him just as a fish is created to live in water. Christians stand up in the face of temptation, persecution and suffering becauswe we know and love God, and His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. (2 Cor 12:9) Even when we die, we die to live with God forever. =)

To my brothers and sisters: It is a command to glorify God and to testify to what we have seen and heard (Matt 28:18-20, Luke 24:47-48, Mark 16:15), as it is one not to murder. (Exo 20:13) So let us not live for ourselves anymore but live for our Loving GOD who saved us from our wretchedness, and share the Good News with the world!!

+++5:01 PM+++

Jesus is Love
Wednesday, February 10, 2010

i can do that but is it worth it? it is in itself a flaw and definitely not something to retain as part of your character yet why am i being told of that? u are my friend and i treasure u as one but hey, think you should start seeing me as a friend too.

okay enough ranting. emotions can often be expressed out fully or internalise it and swallow it completely so that u can once again have a higher threshold. people sometimes can be quite complicated, friendship can become such a fragile thing. in any case, i should continue to seek my God first in all things that i do. in that way, friendship becomes secondary as i place my trust in a God that is first of all eternal and second of all, will never fail me.

God finally convinced me to start up a cell group in hall 15 again and we will be starting after CNY. when daryl comes back i really want to bring him down to church, along with weiqi and eug eug. reason being, i care and 3 of u are important to me!

muffins on the other hand, it'll be easier to ask them to join us in hall 15 cg, part of the reason i am so eager to have cg there once again. will be praying for suann joyce kenneth ruijie huanghao willy jess and my mission impossible good friend gj. somehow i know i will be rejected many times but i am going to pray for God to do something!

oh yea, again going through the list of friends from friends exposed on facebook, it made me think of who will really be there for me when i needed them to. i'm glad i have NOVO!! <3

+++2:14 AM+++

Jesus is Love
Monday, February 08, 2010

just now while waiting for rq and shufen to study, decided to go piano room to chill. suddenly got inspiration to compose and thus recorded this song in case i forgot the tune. heh. dun expect too much. im quite noob actually.

oh yes, its SPMS week so we got free apple pie if u are willing to queue up for it @ 1230pm. if u think i went for it, u're wrong! i leveled up after receiving my mum's gift. woots.

went to play games at the booth and won one highlighter at each station. was actually aiming for 2nd prize but unfortunately the queue became quite long so i got lazy.

+++5:12 PM+++

Jesus is Love
Sunday, February 07, 2010

had to stay in school on friday because i got to work for spms open house from 830am to 2pm. its a good thing hh decided to accompany me. anyway wq sent me an email indicating the existence of a puma addidas fair at queenstown area so i wanted to go check it out with hh after class. however, he had project meeting so we ended up having supposingly dinner at 430pm, jp. while waiting for his project to end, i chanced upon this shop call Z which in my opinion sells fabulous clothes for men. woots~

during dinner at foodcourt, he told me that the malaysia trip was still on so i decided to go home to get my passport. anyway, when i got home, mum gave me a surprise by getting me an LV wallet - damier ebene canvas. one of those days that she decided to splurge. HAH!!

suppose to meet hh back in his hall at 10pm but i was late so he decided to went ahead to buy groceries with his cheer friends. i didn't expect him to come back so late thus i decided to just camp in my room instead. was actually looking forward to htht with him. ah well.

open house was quite freaky. got harrassed by this aunty who came and asked me tonnes of question from getting into ntu to getting out of ntu with deeper topics like career paths etc etc. then, before she left to go for another tour, she insisted that i gave her my hp no even after i told her that the office will answer all her queries. so there, mistake number one. then, when her husband came, the situation worsened. i told him that our students, as in my peers did alot of research and even published some of their work which was printed out on posters at basement one. so, he requested to go down and take a look in which i was tasked to bring them down again. when he saw the posters, he copied all the research articles and wrote down everything that i said to them. actually i felt quite zai then, machiam giving out some edict. HAHAHAH. after saying so much, i asked them one very simple but crucial question. so when will his son be coming to ntu? guess wads their reply..

he just finished his first year in poly! OMGGGGGGG.. felt stupid wasting my time entertaining them. they still have the cheek to tell me that not everyone receive a letter from ntu in year 1. please lo, his GPA not say very good wad, lower than mine. when the husband asked about my GPA, he still dare to ask me why my GPA so lousy. in poly my grades at the end of the day was so much higher than his son's GPA in first sem. zz.

met hh at boon lay mrt after that, waited at the train station for 1 hr. thank god i brought notes to study so time passed by quite quickly expecially when i feel asleep while reading the notes. i was quite shocked that i wasn't pissed, perhaps cuz he could have gone with the rest of the muffins who set off from school earlier.

the journey there we talked quite abit but it remained quite surface. by the time we reached johore, it was alr 530pm. the first person we saw was ken since he was quite near the entrance of FOS. saw gj carried the bag that i bought so i was quite happy until he snapped at me after i complimented him. still not very used to the way his express himself towards friends but i guess im getting there la, i hope.

hh wasn't too pleased with shopping with so many pple, it was written all over his face so i talked to ken bout it and we decided to split up for half an hour before meeting up again. so, it was hh and i one group and the rest the other group. ken was supposed to join us but i guess he couldn't find us. from hh's face i knew he was quite tired but i know he's trying to look normal. i niaoed him a few times cuz he gave a very iamgoingtodie face. we went to try out clothes, or rather i went to try out clothes at every stall especially the one with vests. their vests were quite atas but i dun have clothes to match with it so i decided not to purchase it. eventually, hh caught the mood so we started trying out some polo tees. after buying one top each, it was time to meet the rest.

dinner at da ma hua yuan was fabulous and cheap. we tried to convince joyce to eat the lala. in exchange, we promised not to add bloody cockles into the birthday mixture in a week's time. jesslyn told her that it was for her own good that she eat it, the refusal led to an all out abandonment and severance of the sisterhood that they once shared. upon saying that, joyce is all alone now without anyone to shield her from traumatic birthday celebrations. LOL.

on the way back, i tried to gain some points from joyce. this points system was invented by the ex sisterhood, namely jess and joyce. they asked the guys two questions:

1) will u go into a bra shop with ur gf?
2) will u buy pads for ur gf?

hh and gj answered yes for both and ken answered no for the first one and yes for the second. as for me, i said yes for first and no for the second one. both of them graded 1 pts for hh and gj, a semi one pt for ken and zero for me.

hmm.. this outing felt abit peculiar. felt abit invisible and hurt i guess.

bought a new casual watch. heh. it got abit of army feel but i think its nice. mum rocks!!

+++8:39 PM+++

Jesus is Love
Wednesday, February 03, 2010

a funny email by my cell group member.. lol

Dear CG,

Since there is no CG this sat, I'm proposing that we head down to this place called Sunset Grill and Bar which is situated at 140B Picadilly, Youth Flying Club, Seletar Airbase. Im sure some of you have heard of it, but for those who havent, this place is famous for REALLY HOT chicken wings. On the menu, the spiciness ranges from lvl 1 - 5. However, off the menu, they cater for chili enthusiasts up till level 30 chili hotness. If you manage to finish up a plate of wings, you will be entitled to place your name up on the hall of fame. This isn't a sarcastic analogy or a joke.

Of course, those who are not so interested in this act of sadomasochism can also participate by ordering food from the commoner's menu, these are mainly western food such as grill ribs, fish and chips, steak, etc etc.

For your info, our dear CGL kelvin leong has already put himself through the test of the humble vegetable, and as his followers, we should always seek to be more like him.

According to the law of marginal utility, for every unit of suffering induced by consuming the chili wings, there must be an equal and opposite benefit reaction. After some consideration, i realised that this benefit actually goes to the audience who will be watching the entire tear-dropping performance. In the study of economics, we learnt that goods/services with Marginal Private Benefit are generally over-consumed and thus, should be taxed in order to maintain an optimal social equilibrium (pls refer to attached diagram). For the confused, the essence of all these gibberish is that those who participate in the dinner event without consuming the chili wings should be taxed by offering something useful. These people can always contribute by bringing some milk, by driving/ferrying, donating a certain amount of money for every teardrop, or by simply giving a sincere, hearty cheer, which should be choreographed and rehearsed in groups to attain maximum effect.

For those who have not been there, an additional incentive is the nice windy road that leads to the hidden tucked away eatery. As you enter seletar camp, you will immediately be greeted with colonial houses which are loosely scattered around the area. Approaching the runway vicinity, you will expect a dramatic shift of ambience towards a more rustic laid back setting; small private planes parked alongside the road, small airline companies in little huts, and at the destination, you will be seated just metres from the runway boundary, featuring a nice sunset and an occasional landing and taking off of small private planes which you normally see on TV.

A summary:

Venue: Sunset Grill and Bar, 140B Picadilly.
Date: 06 Feb 10, Saturday
Time: 7pm
Transport: Ferry service timing TBD
Budget: about $20
Attire: Singlet and shorts + towel and tissue for those eating the chilli chicken wings, and casual wear for those chickening out
What to bring: water.tissue.money

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

+++11:56 PM+++

as i was browsing thru some photos when i was feeling bored, here's what i found.

got high school musical feel anot? hahaha.. troy and his bangadesh dance in HSM2

funny face on the bus

robbing daryl. lol

accompanying the lonely scarecrow.. hahah

+++7:55 PM+++

can still vividly remember the times when i could hold u, times when i see u everyday during training, times when we had lunch and dinner together, just the both of us. i suppose its not that easy to forget, maybe i dun wanna forget.

i've missed my chance but have i completely missed it? thats what im trying to find out now and perhaps i should do more but how? how i wished that my friends will tell me what to do exactly but no one can really be sure. can i just log in to guanyinma.com and wait for my friend sitting on a lotus flower to sprinkle some water of wisdom on me. if she can do that, i suppose she should go bathe in it first.

ah well, having friends around does put these kinda things off my mind for awhile but the feeling always come back time and time again. i need new excitement.

ytd had htht sessions with pple individually and i realised that sometimes even when u're there, unless u make a choice to fit in, u are just another hi-bye friend. eventho i hangout with friends from modelling and know some mediacorp artiste, do i ever disregard my friends because they do not belong to the "upper class"? i may have taken up a few jobs etc, but im still me, i still need my friends. so there.

argh.

+++10:16 AM+++

Jesus is Love