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Kelvin
1st September
Affliation: Bartley Christian Church/ NOVO/ muffins
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i finally decided to get out of my usual social circle and start going out with my friend's friends. it turned out to be a little awkward initially but kinda okie after awhile. it was a dinner at fish and co followed by movie then chilling out at gloria jean coffee just outside cineleisure.
dinner was quite funny, i guess i was still warming up, focused talking to shufen only cuz i dun see them trying to create a common topic. sigh, its hard being the only guy. movie was even more strange because im stuck watching a movie that mostly only girls will watch. the whole theatre were filled with them and yea. in the middle of the show, my contacts became quite dry so i kept tearing and thus i had to wipe it off. after wiping a few times, the 3 people who sat behind me noticed and at the corner of my eyes i saw them whispering and after the movie ended, they kept on looking at me like im some freak. that was awfully disturbing and insulting at the same time. even after the show, my eye was still watery. it wasn't exactly touching or whatever so i guess they kinda realised wad was happening, and thats a relief. as much as i want to convince myself that opinions from others doesn't matter, i am being absolutely delusional.
after sending the 3 girls home, i decided to go esplanade to chill since going home at 10.30pm seemed a little early. with a camera and two cam whores, we had alot of fun. so it was photo taking all the way to the esplanade rooftop. just sat there and talk bout retarded stuff. im becoming like an old man, whole day just go out and talk to people. i crave for sports!! tennis anyone?
Jesus is Love
Monday, June 22, 2009
yup, i officially finished season 2 today. it was pretty exciting and really scandelous. however, i enjoyed the adventurous love and the extravegant way of handling issues that we don't usually worry about. this lifestyle however, might really be too complicated for normal people to deal with.
been hanging out with friends that i haven't seen in years, it felt really nice just purely talking about old times and laughing at the things we used to do, past gossips that we didn't really talk about last time. looking back, all of us were quite cute (i can't really think of other words).
had a really long chat with eileen during leaders' retreat last week. shared with beh and tony too and i got quite frustrated with how certain things turned out in my life. i felt lost and deserted bout God pulled me back again. i knew i cannot hold for any longer and i really need someone to guide me and be accountable to spiritually. i was hoping for that person to be my leader but that night he was quite tired so i didn't get a chance to talk to him.
finally did something sporty with my sec sch friends. we went east coast park to cycle, then blade, then fly kite and ended off with frisbee. the weather was quite atrocious yet i was thankful cuz it could have been worse if it rained. i got back my undesirable singlet tan and i guess it'll take a couple more weeks before it disappears. went to ivena's place to watch movie to save money on dinner and other misc expenses if we were to chill elsewhere. my friends were running low on cash so ya. wanted to play mahjong or cards but everyone was distracted by restaurant city so yea.
on the way to her place, we were discussing whether is it right for a christian to date a non christian. this topic is ongoing for a very long time with the same conclusion everytime. i stood by my answer all the until i couldn't answer ivena's question. so what will happen if ur christian gf decided not to be a christian and fall away from God? am i going to break off with her? similarly, so what if the girl is not a christian? does that mean that she'll never be one?
somehow deep inside i know the answers for the questions above but i started to waver. a part of me is questioning me whether my stand for the past 6 yrs has been invalid all along. yet, at the same time the reason y i took my stand was because of my conviction with God. it is not just about me anymore, i have a cg to take care of and it is my responsibility to be that role model for them. its quite ironic actually, i dun hide stuff from them, i share whatever im going thru with them and its not always the right thing to do. they do tell me that they feel that im quite screwed up occasionally but i lived with it cuz thats who i am but i am willing to change. i can easily filter parts of my life that i am not proud of from them but i choose not to because i want them to share theirs as well. u can say that its a fair trade, i would prefer to use that term trust.
before i continue to drift off from what was discussed, perhaps i will list out my thoughts on this issue first. in the bible it says not to be unequally yoked with somebody. the term yoked referring to spiritual level. not only christians and non christians, but among christians, the level must be somewhat equal. with that in mind, i am fully aware that unless God gets me someone himself, i will be single for the rest of my life and that's unbearable. im not saying its not good to be single, i enjoyed life as it is now. alright, just lost my train of thoughts.
Jesus is Love
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
last week was super exciting, everyday i had meaningful things to do. started off with buffet at cathay with christina, followed by meeting NOVOs at lido talking bout pageant stuff. it was an unplanned thing since we had nowhere to go after we realised that singing k box that day deemed as inpractical due to the high cost.
tuesday and wed was with NOVOs as well. talked to different people, actually tuesday was kind of unique because i spent an hour washing dishes, a few hours watching show on the lappy and then we slpt. i didn't really eat much cuz we had cheesy rosti and cheesy sausages as main course, strawberry shortvcakes for dessert. cheesy rosti looked kinda gross and extremely fattening so i gave it a miss. the shortcakes were my life savers, a lil sweet but overall fantastic!
spent half a day with eueu talking bout some issues that is unwise to disclose here. felt alot better letting off some steam. so we talked for so long that i decided to just grab a t shirt and go clarke quay from his place to meet the NOVOs again to celebrate lauren's and yang's b day. here's a video featuring the celebration. that ugly vesak day lamp thingy candle crap is contributed by lauren's cheapskate manager who complained about almost anything possible.
so on our way back, managed to talk to dar awhile, think there's some stuff that we need to talk about soon.
friday, primary sch outing at timbre. it was so last minute, or rather not much people confirmed their attendance with me but the turn out was alot better than expected. the girls were unsporting again, they only can come in a package, buy one get one free. if u buy three, fourth and fifth item at a discount. felt a little disappointed by their replies, giving excuses like planning with facebook does not work. oh BTW, i did smsed u so i guess u want me to call u to pass down details? how bout u try organising and call up the entire class of 42 people. seriously, even my nephew can come up with a better excuse.
so there we are at timbre, everyone was late except for japheth who waited patiently for half an hour without any complains. most of us came at 730pm when the meeting time was 630pm. damien brought our pri 1 sch year book and we got so entertained by that for at least 3 hrs. just purely talking bout old times, trying to recall who is who that kinda thing. i realised one thing, perhaps my class was not that innocent after now, now that the truth was out. people as young as pri 3 started liking girls and take notice of details. some of us were stalking girls we like home, talking bout them among other friends etc. the funny thing was that it was all talk no action.
we sat there till the band started and we couldn't have proper conversations so we headed to seletar reservoir to continue our conversations after getting bean curd at rochor road. it was super convenient to travel around when we have cars to drive us around. never felt this way before since most of my friends dun drive.
we talked till 3am before everyone realised that it was late and so the 4 drivers sent us home. so nice of them! i only had time to go home and bathe before i had to cab to mugen's house so he can drive me to the airport to send james off for his mission trip. it was a good thing i went because his parents weren't there so at least i was there to pray for him as his guardian for spiritual protection. didn't talk to him much cuz he wanted to talk to other people. think it started since last sem that i felt like i neglected him. come to realise that knowing his love language is futile if i nv do anything to fill up the "empty tank".
on sunday, i was still feeling the shaggness from the accumulated lack of sleep. however, my family wanted to go out so i forced myself to be awake by playing game on my cell phone. we were shopping for cars and eventually, we decided to get honda fit (yellow). dinner was good and most importantly, we had durians after that. suppose to buy only 3 but that guy offered to give 2 more at a discounted price. i obviously agreed since i know dad's bad habit. we never eat durians for a year alr and when he starts eating something that he likes, he will spam so 3 will definitely not be enough. u might be wondering y we decided to buy 3 in the first place. didi and mum said they will only eat a little and dad said he was quite full. if i say that i want 5, dad will nag for so long that i felt that i might lose my appetite altogether so ya.
with that, the week was over with a blast!
Jesus is Love
Thursday, June 04, 2009
its been a month since the holidays and i suppose its time to get down to business. i need to plan my time wisely and do up a time table so i can make full use of my time to do necessary changes to my life. been watching gossip girl lately, actually just for a few days since i had the dvd from cheryl. it kinda reminded me the kind of lifestyle that i wanna live in with all that glam and the limelight. somehow it let me indulge in reminiscence for awhile. as much as i like that kind of lifestyle, i do realise that it will as simple as where i am now. by entering this world of riches, i need to forgo the peace and tranquility that i possess now, ya right! i guess i just want to dress up and go for big functions.
come to think of it, the reason y i didn't really feel very comfortable being a waiter at the one on the bund of largely due to the fact that i felt under status. i didn't really serve people before and didn't feel comfortable being ordered around to do stuff when they could do it themselves. call me pampered whatever, i dun like to appear in places where people are all dressed up and i'm not. okie, i said it!
went blading yesterday with christina followed by shopping at cityhall. we ended up exploring some parts of singapore where i never been before, carrying blades around taking funny photos, some of which i have been asked not to upload since somebody doesn't look nice. haha. it was quite a fun time doing nonsense together.
Jesus is Love