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Kelvin
1st September
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Sunday, June 24, 2007
leaders' retreat just ended and i think God had been awesome. there are alot of unknown things that happened and i have yet to discover (i will soon). during this retreat, we were split up into groups of 3, in which my team consist of timothy pang and one other guy. first day was uncle patrick, 2nd day dave. i was forced to pray for people more senior than me. it felt kinda awkward but i know that its something necessary for me to overcome in order to grow.
sidetrack abit, i have always feel uncomfortable with praying out loud in groups because i don't think i'm eloquent enough. of course i know that praying is to God and for God to listen but, seriously, head knowledge is different from practise. as i went through the sessions, somehow or rather, under such circumstances, praying wasn't that difficult already, in fact, i part of me kept on probing me to join prayer meeting on friday. i am not saying that i have been skipping prayers on friday cuz i do not want to pray with people. the thing is i can't even attend most of the tf cg bs meetings cuz of the army.
because of my toenail incident, i got alot of days mc and thus, i got to study at bryan's house, slack at clement's house awhile, attend the full leaders' retreat etc. i know that God wants me to be there for it and thus i have been waiting for something to happen. deep down i wanted God to display His power in my life, meaning that i was hoping to rest in the spirit (being slain by the Spirit) since pastor lionel said something bout that. i knew i had faith, i was praying desperately for it, tim and patrick prayed for me, yet, nothing happened. just then, i heard a voice that says is it that important for me to experience God? ain't i enough? then i realised He was right, y am i always depending on such things for confirmation eventhough i know and i never doubted Him that He is with me. after that, my whole day started shaking, i couldn't stand still. then i was like, this is it!! as both of them continue to pray for me, i shook more and more and then it stopped. i must admit that i got quite disappointed but at the same time i felt good because i think i heard His voice.
during one of the worship sessions, i felt different than usual, in fact when everyone was raising their hands and got emo, i couldn't stop smiling at God. then i was like asking God whether i'm like a little kid. i can't believe for the next few minutes that i was like almost acting cute in front of God and hoping to get hug by God. i dunno how to describe the feeling but hey, i felt really loved and contented at that point of time. in another session of worship, i couldn't feel anything at all and i felt like crap. it was when i prayed in the name of Jesus for any spirits that were stopping me from worship God that i started connecting with God again. it was the same feeling at Thailand when i was having my MOB trip that i remembered, a few minutes before nicole got attacked. ps lionel shared something about these spirits too. in case u all dunno, when i was poly yr 1, i was offered to guanyin as her godson, something along that line. so the thing is that i renounced it and prayed to God that i will not want to have anything to do with other gods but my one true God, Jesus (YES!!)
the last part of the retreat was praying for healing. esmond volunteered to be prayed for first and he was like "i injured my tailbone during training". then one of the helpers told us that it 'll be better to apply some oil on any parts of the body or better still, the injured part because we believe that god has anointed the oil. then because the helper is a lady, joash had to do it. and because esmond was like in the middle of the circle, most of the guys stood up and covered him from the girls who formed the majority of the circle. anyway, esmond didn't get healed then but who knows GOd might do something during the week, hope to hear from him soon.
as for me, i prayed for sarah wong for the pain on her wisdom tooth to be gone. i felt some heat coming out from my hands and that somehow after that, i was pretty sure that God will heal her. when i asked her whether she felt better after that, she said no but still, i believe God will definitely heal her because He loves to heal and he desires us to be happy and healthy. since we still had time after praying for sarah, my small group prayed for my missing toe nail as well as my back. somehow i think i got better but u know, it might be my own imagination or not. in any case, i'm glad i went through the retreat. thanks ps lionel, eunice, joy and all the helpers!!
the fun side of the retreat was actually last night when i went back to the old building with avelyn and seth to take some photographs before it is completely destroyed. we took a small rock each, which is like a part of the building. intend to keep it and tell the generations after us that. so erm the retreat could have been better if we, the leaders prayed more before going through it so that the HS can dwell in us more richly. oh well, lets wait for next year!!
+++10:55 PM+++
Jesus is Love
leaders' retreat just ended and i think God had been awesome. there are alot of unknown things that happened and i have yet to discover (i will soon). during this retreat, we were split up into groups of 3, in which my team consist of timothy pang and one other guy. first day was uncle patrick, 2nd day dave. i was forced to pray for people more senior than me. it felt kinda awkward but i know that its something necessary for me to overcome in order to grow.
sidetrack abit, i have always feel uncomfortable with praying out loud in groups because i don't think i'm eloquent enough. of course i know that praying is to God and for God to listen but, seriously, head knowledge is different from practise. as i went through the sessions, somehow or rather, under such circumstances, praying wasn't that difficult already, in fact, i part of me kept on probing me to join prayer meeting on friday. i am not saying that i have been skipping prayers on friday cuz i do not want to pray with people. the thing is i can't even attend most of the tf cg bs meetings cuz of the army.
because of my toenail incident, i got alot of days mc and thus, i got to study at bryan's house, slack at clement's house awhile, attend the full leaders' retreat etc. i know that God wants me to be there for it and thus i have been waiting for something to happen. deep down i wanted God to display His power in my life, meaning that i was hoping to rest in the spirit (being slain by the Spirit) since pastor lionel said something bout that. i knew i had faith, i was praying desperately for it, tim and patrick prayed for me, yet, nothing happened. just then, i heard a voice that says is it that important for me to experience God? ain't i enough? then i realised He was right, y am i always depending on such things for confirmation eventhough i know and i never doubted Him that He is with me. after that, my whole day started shaking, i couldn't stand still. then i was like, this is it!! as both of them continue to pray for me, i shook more and more and then it stopped. i must admit that i got quite disappointed but at the same time i felt good because i think i heard His voice.
during one of the worship sessions, i felt different than usual, in fact when everyone was raising their hands and got emo, i couldn't stop smiling at God. then i was like asking God whether i'm like a little kid. i can't believe for the next few minutes that i was like almost acting cute in front of God and hoping to get hug by God. i dunno how to describe the feeling but hey, i felt really loved and contented at that point of time. in another session of worship, i couldn't feel anything at all and i felt like crap. it was when i prayed in the name of Jesus for any spirits that were stopping me from worship God that i started connecting with God again. it was the same feeling at Thailand when i was having my MOB trip that i remembered, a few minutes before nicole got attacked. ps lionel shared something about these spirits too. in case u all dunno, when i was poly yr 1, i was offered to guanyin as her godson, something along that line. so the thing is that i renounced it and prayed to God that i will not want to have anything to do with other gods but my one true God, Jesus (YES!!)
the last part of the retreat was praying for healing. esmond volunteered to be prayed for first and he was like "i injured my tailbone during training". then one of the helpers told us that it 'll be better to apply some oil on any parts of the body or better still, the injured part because we believe that god has anointed the oil. then because the helper is a lady, joash had to do it. and because esmond was like in the middle of the circle, most of the guys stood up and covered him from the girls who formed the majority of the circle. anyway, esmond didn't get healed then but who knows GOd might do something during the week, hope to hear from him soon.
as for me, i prayed for sarah wong for the pain on her wisdom tooth to be gone. i felt some heat coming out from my hands and that somehow after that, i was pretty sure that God will heal her. when i asked her whether she felt better after that, she said no but still, i believe God will definitely heal her because He loves to heal and he desires us to be happy and healthy. since we still had time after praying for sarah, my small group prayed for my missing toe nail as well as my back. somehow i think i got better but u know, it might be my own imagination or not. in any case, i'm glad i went through the retreat. thanks ps lionel, eunice, joy and all the helpers!!
the fun side of the retreat was actually last night when i went back to the old building with avelyn and seth to take some photographs before it is completely destroyed. we took a small rock each, which is like a part of the building. intend to keep it and tell the generations after us that. so erm the retreat could have been better if we, the leaders prayed more before going through it so that the HS can dwell in us more richly. oh well, lets wait for next year!!
Jesus is Love