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Kelvin
1st September
Affliation: Bartley Christian Church/ NOVO/ muffins
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Monday, May 02, 2005
my 'holiday' sort of started on friday. i can't remember what happened except that i went to joel's house for a stayover. oh yes, a movie with ivan at PS. coach carter was pretty interesting. there wasn't much of display of basketball stunts but the plot was nice. i seriously cannot remember where i go before meeting ivan or did i not? oh yes, my poly friends! i played lan for like 2 hrs. it wasn't DOTA or CS, but rather something similar to warcraft but with better graphics.
heh. i was really glad that i was able to have somewhere to stayover on friday. joel simply agreed, without even asking why. i wasn't looking for a house with things to play, i just needed to have some company from friends (and of course, i needed to get out so that my parents will not be worried bout me having to take care of myself at home... kinda complicated). we had alot of things to talk about but after awhile, he slpt. well, which is good if u look at it in another angle. if i had less slp, i would have like stoned during yf. if i were to have less slp, i wouldn't be able to lead a proper cg discussion. i realised that i am not as energetic as before. i DO get tired easily. but then again, sometimes i stone because i dunno what to say or how to handle a situation. i guess its just part of me, trying to find an excuse or simply escaping the situation. that is like a last resort, don't wanna make things look bad.
i felt accomplished on sat. managed to spend time with people that i sorta of drifted away with. i was looking for people to talk to as usual and ended up talking to the same few people. being a leader in yf is like a big brother to everyone. its cool la but if given a choice, i would rather have someone to look up to and play with. sigh! should have like gone to church with pam earlier. at least i could enjoy few more years of being a kid.
cg discussion was quite cool. it didn't match with the things that i planned but yea, God sorta drove me to another point which i thought was rather crucial. it was entirely God led because most of the things that i talked about wasn't what i had in mind. i guess thats how cg discussions should be run. just letting God take control of it. somehow, some stuff that i said were rather thought provoking. i didn't want to hurt anybody but at the same time, i had to be direct. i had to make sure that my cg members are doing alright but thats not the case. generally most pple are growing but its the few who needed help and thus i had to slow down. i need to emphasize the point that we function as a cg and we needed to work together as a cg. this concept struck me on friday when i watched the movie 'coach carter'.
after tm, had drum prac. it was very last minute but i accepted that la. jerome's bro is very irresponsible. hmm. maybe i shouldn't say that now. maybe he has like exams or something. i shall give him the benefit of the doubt. i really hope that he can produce a good reason if not i would really be disappointed. had dinner with ian and john. ian treated me ice milo. it was quite a pleasant surprise. last time i used to treat him stuff and ya. now its the other way round. it felt good, as in really GOOD. heh. we went back church for dance practise. we weren't in the team but we decided to just support them since we didn't want to go back home. i tried learning the dance. its quite complicated, as in the steps require alot of isolations and the punch in them. couldn't get it right. i think i will join them for the dance practise since i am still jobless and i need to work out. its nice to have pple doing that with u. heh
after tm, justin wanted to go tsura's house so i suggested that 3 of us go alden's house instead, and that's what we did. before doing that, we went toa payoh to slack at coffeebean because alden didn't bring the keys out and needed to wait for his parents to reach home first. over there, alden received a call from his parents and that we needed to be asleep by 11.30pm. it was rather early but we agreed la. at his lace, we sorta pretended to be asleep and waited till everyone was asleep before playing x-men. that was the initial plan. we laid on the floor for like 1 hr until 1am but by that time, most of us were like half asleep already so we crapped awhile and ya, slpt.
felt really sian on sunday partly because i thought everyone would go home to study. it didn't happen la, thankfully. a couple of us went to serangoon to play dota. from that, i can only draw 2 conclusions:
one, if u want to enjoy the game, treat the game as a game. its not gonna hurt u if u lose. its a GAME. there is absolutely no point getting angry over a game. there is no reason to get so serious. its a G A M E game.
two, it is not the game that is fun, its the people. if the pple is fun, the game is fun. if anyone gets tense, it spoils the mood. thus, if u knw that u can't take it, don't play it. of course, there are people that tries to counter the problem. i'm fine with that. in fact, i am happy that u are willing to change. well, in that case, we should learn to be forgiving and learn how to love and encourage them. its hard but at the very least, we should try. its more effective to counter a problem than to runaway from it. if people are willing to change, we should give them a chance to do that.
i was really tempted to stayover at someone's house after playing lan but i promised my mum that i would spend time with my brother who supposing would be home on that very day. as the matter of fact, he told me that he would. when i saw that his room was empty, i was like sian diao. oh well, at least i did my part.
monday, which is today, was fun. played basketball with the twins and some other pple. james made me feel really comfortable. for the first few games, he chose me to be in his team simply because he didn't want me to feel bad la. its quite sucky when u are like the last to be chosen. eventhough i was on the losing team, i felt great playing it. there wasn't any pressure from team mates. the feeling of scoring points for the team was unbelievable. i was really overwhelmed when i was able to score. but then again, that is also because i'm too lousy until no one bothers to block me. heh.
crap. its really late already. i shall end of with some thoughts that i had on the way back...
the way we behave in church and outside should be slightly different, especially for guys when we are together. things like sitting on each others lap shouldn't be seen in public. the main reason is this. in church, we are a family and this is a fact recognise by everyone in the congregation. it is alright to do that. on the other hand, if we do that in public, people might not think that way. i wished to say that as long as i have a clear conscience, everything's fine. but (here's the catch), there are alot of people that we know, be it from school, from church, from tuition, from pri/sec/jc/poly. it would be terrible if people were to see us that way. in simple terms, we will be a bad testimony. sigh!
if we look at it in another way, having body contacts in church only seemed to be like taking advantage of one another only in church. it is like having a private affair. the fact that we sit on each other's lap (for eg) comes naturally, or rather we want to have fun. such things doesn't cross our minds at all. we are simply having fun. so if its part of us, its hard to not do it in public. alright, im lost in my thoughts. it doesn't make any sense now. heh. oh well. im going off to bed.......
+++10:01 PM+++
Jesus is Love
my 'holiday' sort of started on friday. i can't remember what happened except that i went to joel's house for a stayover. oh yes, a movie with ivan at PS. coach carter was pretty interesting. there wasn't much of display of basketball stunts but the plot was nice. i seriously cannot remember where i go before meeting ivan or did i not? oh yes, my poly friends! i played lan for like 2 hrs. it wasn't DOTA or CS, but rather something similar to warcraft but with better graphics.
heh. i was really glad that i was able to have somewhere to stayover on friday. joel simply agreed, without even asking why. i wasn't looking for a house with things to play, i just needed to have some company from friends (and of course, i needed to get out so that my parents will not be worried bout me having to take care of myself at home... kinda complicated). we had alot of things to talk about but after awhile, he slpt. well, which is good if u look at it in another angle. if i had less slp, i would have like stoned during yf. if i were to have less slp, i wouldn't be able to lead a proper cg discussion. i realised that i am not as energetic as before. i DO get tired easily. but then again, sometimes i stone because i dunno what to say or how to handle a situation. i guess its just part of me, trying to find an excuse or simply escaping the situation. that is like a last resort, don't wanna make things look bad.
i felt accomplished on sat. managed to spend time with people that i sorta of drifted away with. i was looking for people to talk to as usual and ended up talking to the same few people. being a leader in yf is like a big brother to everyone. its cool la but if given a choice, i would rather have someone to look up to and play with. sigh! should have like gone to church with pam earlier. at least i could enjoy few more years of being a kid.
cg discussion was quite cool. it didn't match with the things that i planned but yea, God sorta drove me to another point which i thought was rather crucial. it was entirely God led because most of the things that i talked about wasn't what i had in mind. i guess thats how cg discussions should be run. just letting God take control of it. somehow, some stuff that i said were rather thought provoking. i didn't want to hurt anybody but at the same time, i had to be direct. i had to make sure that my cg members are doing alright but thats not the case. generally most pple are growing but its the few who needed help and thus i had to slow down. i need to emphasize the point that we function as a cg and we needed to work together as a cg. this concept struck me on friday when i watched the movie 'coach carter'.
after tm, had drum prac. it was very last minute but i accepted that la. jerome's bro is very irresponsible. hmm. maybe i shouldn't say that now. maybe he has like exams or something. i shall give him the benefit of the doubt. i really hope that he can produce a good reason if not i would really be disappointed. had dinner with ian and john. ian treated me ice milo. it was quite a pleasant surprise. last time i used to treat him stuff and ya. now its the other way round. it felt good, as in really GOOD. heh. we went back church for dance practise. we weren't in the team but we decided to just support them since we didn't want to go back home. i tried learning the dance. its quite complicated, as in the steps require alot of isolations and the punch in them. couldn't get it right. i think i will join them for the dance practise since i am still jobless and i need to work out. its nice to have pple doing that with u. heh
after tm, justin wanted to go tsura's house so i suggested that 3 of us go alden's house instead, and that's what we did. before doing that, we went toa payoh to slack at coffeebean because alden didn't bring the keys out and needed to wait for his parents to reach home first. over there, alden received a call from his parents and that we needed to be asleep by 11.30pm. it was rather early but we agreed la. at his lace, we sorta pretended to be asleep and waited till everyone was asleep before playing x-men. that was the initial plan. we laid on the floor for like 1 hr until 1am but by that time, most of us were like half asleep already so we crapped awhile and ya, slpt.
felt really sian on sunday partly because i thought everyone would go home to study. it didn't happen la, thankfully. a couple of us went to serangoon to play dota. from that, i can only draw 2 conclusions:
one, if u want to enjoy the game, treat the game as a game. its not gonna hurt u if u lose. its a GAME. there is absolutely no point getting angry over a game. there is no reason to get so serious. its a G A M E game.
two, it is not the game that is fun, its the people. if the pple is fun, the game is fun. if anyone gets tense, it spoils the mood. thus, if u knw that u can't take it, don't play it. of course, there are people that tries to counter the problem. i'm fine with that. in fact, i am happy that u are willing to change. well, in that case, we should learn to be forgiving and learn how to love and encourage them. its hard but at the very least, we should try. its more effective to counter a problem than to runaway from it. if people are willing to change, we should give them a chance to do that.
i was really tempted to stayover at someone's house after playing lan but i promised my mum that i would spend time with my brother who supposing would be home on that very day. as the matter of fact, he told me that he would. when i saw that his room was empty, i was like sian diao. oh well, at least i did my part.
monday, which is today, was fun. played basketball with the twins and some other pple. james made me feel really comfortable. for the first few games, he chose me to be in his team simply because he didn't want me to feel bad la. its quite sucky when u are like the last to be chosen. eventhough i was on the losing team, i felt great playing it. there wasn't any pressure from team mates. the feeling of scoring points for the team was unbelievable. i was really overwhelmed when i was able to score. but then again, that is also because i'm too lousy until no one bothers to block me. heh.
crap. its really late already. i shall end of with some thoughts that i had on the way back...
the way we behave in church and outside should be slightly different, especially for guys when we are together. things like sitting on each others lap shouldn't be seen in public. the main reason is this. in church, we are a family and this is a fact recognise by everyone in the congregation. it is alright to do that. on the other hand, if we do that in public, people might not think that way. i wished to say that as long as i have a clear conscience, everything's fine. but (here's the catch), there are alot of people that we know, be it from school, from church, from tuition, from pri/sec/jc/poly. it would be terrible if people were to see us that way. in simple terms, we will be a bad testimony. sigh!
if we look at it in another way, having body contacts in church only seemed to be like taking advantage of one another only in church. it is like having a private affair. the fact that we sit on each other's lap (for eg) comes naturally, or rather we want to have fun. such things doesn't cross our minds at all. we are simply having fun. so if its part of us, its hard to not do it in public. alright, im lost in my thoughts. it doesn't make any sense now. heh. oh well. im going off to bed.......
Jesus is Love